Sharp Tongue

James (Ya’akov) 3:2-10   (2) Because we frequently offend, every one of us. If anyone does not offend in what he says, this one is a perfect man and is able also to hold in check the whole body. (3) Remember, we put bits into horses’ mouths in order that they may obey us, and we direct their entire bodies. (4) Consider also that ships, being so large, and being driven by strong winds, are turned about by a very small rudder, wherever the will of the one who is steering may decide. (5) In the same way also, the tongue is a little member, but it boasts great things. See how large a forest is set ablaze by a little fire; (6) And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. So has the tongue been set among our members—the one member that defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of life, and is set on fire by Gehenna. (7) Now then, every species of animals and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. (8) But the tongue (9) With it we bless Avinu, and with it we ourselves curse people who are made in the likeness of Avinu. (10) From the same mouth comes out blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so!

I knew that I had a ‘sharp tongue’. For years, I read these scriptures, and I always thought, “This can’t be me! It must be ….” “I’m not starting forest fires with my words. I’m not viciously devouring people like a roaring beast. I can take this in stride and not worry so much about examining this. After all, these examples are for the extremes, certainly not me.

Avinu sometimes focuses our minds on the things we are guilty of by allowing us to experience the same behaviors from others. King David did not see himself as he was behaving and affecting others until Nathan described to him another man’s behavior

*** “1 Then Avinu sent Nathan to David. And he came to him, and said to him: “There were two men in one city, one rich and the other poor. 2 “The rich man had exceedingly many flocks and herds. 3 “But the poor man had nothing, except one little ewe lamb which he had bought and nourished; and it grew up together with him and with his children. It ate of his own food and drank from his own cup and lay in his bosom; and it was like a daughter to him. 4 “And a traveler came to the rich man, who refused to take from his own flock and from his own herd to prepare one for the wayfaring man who had come to him; but he took the poor man’s lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.”” (2Sa 12:1-4 )

David was so outraged by the man’s gross actions and attitude that he, as king, declared the death penalty on him.

*** “5 So David’s anger was greatly aroused against the man, and he said to Nathan, “As Avinu lives, the man who has done this shall surely die! 6 “And he shall restore fourfold for the lamb, because he did this thing and because he had no pity.”” (2Sa 12:5-6 )

Had this been an actual individual, chances are David would have pursued the matter to see the man brought to justice! However, the man he judged as worthy of death was none other than himself.

*** “Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! Thus says Avinu, Elohei Israel: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul.” (2Sa 12:7 )

In our journeys, we experience similar lessons. We are at times brought into the company of people who are offensive to us, whose behavior hurts us, and whose words can cut us and wound us, because something in the experience will teach us what we need to learn. Avinu is allowing us to experience ourselves.  

We chuckle at times, observing how someone known for gossiping will howl in dismay when she is gossiped about, or how a person often critical of others is intolerant of criticism directed toward himself. We say about teasing, “Don’t give it unless you can take it!”

A deeper principle can be employed here: If we look at others’ behaviors, we can learn to see ourselves. Job’s friends had this opportunity. They saw Job going through his calamities, how miserable he was, and in their care for him, they did their best to find his fault and help him solve his dilemma. In the end, Avinu simply dismissed these three friends and all their long-winded speeches because they failed to recognize the very thing Avinu gave them opportunity to see: They failed to see themselves in Job.

Job was not singled out for this experience because he was Job. He represents mankind, blinded by himself and unable to see the reality of Avinu. Even today, many centuries later, we examine the life and thoughts of Job in an effort to see ourselves in his shoes; we try to learn from his experience by exposing the same faults within us. This aids us by allowing us both to see what we might miss and to change what is incompatible with our Creator.

Are we able to recognize these opportunities to see ourselves in the actions of others?

We have seen hearts broken by sarcasm and neglect. We have seen the crushing effects of criticism upon those needing reassurance and encouragement.

Most of us do not escape life without being deeply touched by such actions from others. But how incredibly sobering it is to see ourselves in these actions of others, to realize that we are guilty of the very things that may have hurt us deeply! We, too, are responsible for spreading the flames of a fire that devours and destroys all in its path. The evil of our tongues is as limitless as the evil James (Ya’akov) describes.
A sharp tongue is a deadly weapon, no less as effective as a double edged sword. Proverbs teaches,

*** “He who has a deceitful heart finds no good, And he who has a perverse tongue falls into evil.” (Pr 17:20 )

*** “18 ¶There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health. 19 The truthful lip shall be established forever, But a lying tongue is but for a moment.” (Pr 12:18-19 )

*** “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” (Pr 15:4 )

My sharp tongue has been a contradiction to the convictions I have expressed nearly all my life. I never saw it until I had to come face to face with the jabs, slices, and pricks of other sharp tongues, and to feel the fires they started within me. I would beg Avinu for understanding, of why such communication should exist and why I should receive it with such bitterness—until I finally saw, as David did, that I am also the guilty one.

*** “1 « To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba. » Have mercy upon me, O Avinu, According to Your loving kindness; According to the multitude of Your tender mercies, Blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I acknowledge my transgressions, And my sin is always before me. 4 Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight — That You may be found just when You speak, And blameless when You judge. 5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, And in sin my mother conceived me. 6 Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom. 7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 8 Make me hear joy and gladness, That the bones You have broken may rejoice. 9 Hide Your face from my sins, And blot out all my iniquities. 10 Create in me a clean heart, O Avinu, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit. 13 Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, And sinners shall be converted to You. 14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O Avinu, The Elohei my salvation, And my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness. 15 O Avinu, open my lips, And my mouth shall show forth Your praise. 16 For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it; You do not delight in burnt offering. 17 The sacrifices of Avinu are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart — These, O Avinu, You will not despise. 18 Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion; Build the walls of Jerusalem. 19 Then You shall be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, With burnt offering and whole burnt offering; Then they shall offer bulls on Your altar.” (Ps 51:1-19 )